By Big Frank
If you're thinking about getting married you must checkout all of the options. And there are a bunch.
1. If your girlfriend is a beauty queen, chances are you'll be divorced in a couple years because every stud will be hitting on her sooner or later. She'll hook up with one of them.
2. If your girlfriend is great in bed, well that's nice. But after a couple of years, it will slowly disappear. In my 42 years of marriage, I found out the secrets of marriage. Out of sight, out of mind. I am lucky man though. 42 years of marriage proves it.
When I decided to get hitched, my future wife, didn't know how to cook. Basically, she knew one thing: How to cut hair.
So I taught her how to cook. She was a fast learning and saved me $5000 in barber shop fees! Wow, winner winner chicken dinner!
She's only disappointed me twice. Just happened to be both Steve Corino and Allison Danger! LOL. But never a bad haircut, so its all good.
What made our marriage work was trust and being polar opposites. You know-positive and negative, zig and zag, up and down. You should have the idea now. Need more? Good, because I am out of them. Merrianne is a beautiful person and I am a shit head.
When I go shopping with my wife, I tell the store employees that she steal and they will follow her around. I just laugh. Once my wife figures out what I have done, she'll punch me and call me an asshole. But it does speed up the shopping process and make it more fun for me.
Hopefully she won't read this blog or I am protection in bed tonight. I'll be wearing my snowmobile suit and a helmet. She might be little, but she packs a big punch. OK, lets get back to you fellas.
Make sure when the Pastor says "death do you part" you are going to need to add "or thirty years". That is called a warranty.
I didn't think of that when I said I do, because I never thought I would live this long. And I apologize to Steve and Cathy for shitting on them early in this blog. Truthfully, they turned out just great. Love you guys. And Mer, love you the most, but be gentle tonight.